Tag: cultural differences (Page 3 of 4)

Asian Squatting

2012/06/27 / Nic / 29 Comments

I remember the first few times I saw Koreans doing this I thought it was a bit strange. This was years ago but I remember standing with a group of Koreans and someone dropping down quickly into a squat and continuing the conversation like nothing had happened. Because the Western style of squatting is different and not as comfortable, we can’t stay like that for very long, I was surprised at how long Koreans could stay in that position.

Because I grew up in a very white area I had almost no contact with any Asians and the Asians I did meet were very westernized. I actually remember the first time I ever saw someone sitting like this was when I was probably about 14 and we were on a family holiday. In a little coastal town I saw a Japanese man squatting on a large concrete post by the river. He was fishing and I remember wondering how he could sit like that for so long.

I’ve obviously since realised that Asian people who squat like this are doing it in a different way. While almost every Asian person can do this, many Western people can not. This is partly due to genetics (Asian people apparently have shorter legs in comparison to their bodies) and lifestyle (Asian people have been squatting like this since children). Of course there are Western people who can squat like this but not the majority. When I try do this I literally can not put my feet flat on the ground. It’s impossible for me. Very soon my legs begin to hurt and I’ll lose my balance and topple over. I wish I could though.

What does this mean?

2012/06/26 / Nic / 13 Comments

So one day I was watching some Eat Your Kimchi. This video in particular.

I didn’t quite understand what Simon was talking about because maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention. Anyway I went to go ask my husband.

Not surprising that the Korean one is a bit more ambiguous and the Western one is…um… not very ambiguous! Bring back memories of the playground?

Maybe

2012/06/16 / Nic / 9 Comments

One of the many differences between English and Korean is how direct you are to people. The Korean language has a lot of ambiguity and people often don’t say exactly what they mean. Whereas in English we can be very clear and say exactly what we mean and it’s socially acceptable to speak like that as well. So while native Korean speakers can usually understand each other because they understand the subtleness of the language, it can be hard for someone learning the language.

What is also hard is when a Korean person speaks with the ambiguity of the Korean language but in English!

Sometimes my direct questions are answered this way too often and I can get a bit annoyed!

One time I asked my Korean teacher about this and he said, “If your husband says ‘maybe’ he probably means no.”

Then I asked my husband and he said, “I usually mean yes.”

See? Even Koreans can’t agree on it!

Ice Mum

2012/06/12 / Nic / 0 Comments

Something we can never agree on is how to respect and speak to parents. Because my husband comes from a hierarchical society it is ingrained in him to always be respectful to his parents and not to disagree with them. Whereas I come from a society that is more relaxed about parent/children relationships and I will openly disagree with and contradict my parents. I have a good relationship with my parents but some things I may do or say my husband sees as disrespect. He has trouble understanding this sometimes.

This incident however, was actually one of those times where I was not doing anything that could be seen as disrespectful but he still thought I was! And he thought that for many months!

Our Bed

2012/05/05 / Nic / 2 Comments

He really likes Beauty and the Beast.

Lucky Pig

2012/04/25 / Nic / 4 Comments

Since our engagement my husband’s family believes they have had a lot of luck, as things have been going really well for them. They think I’ve brought the luck into their lives so they have called me a ‘Lucky Pig’.

In Korea pigs mean fortune. However, in western culture calling someone a pig is usually an insult! Meaning they are ugly or eat too much etc. So when I first heard his family are calling me that I was like “What?!” But then thankfully it was explained to me. Let’s hope I can keep the luck coming!

My husband, knowing that in English it sounds very different to in Korean, laughed and said in English, “Yeah you are the lucky pig!….. Oink Oink!”

Cultural differences: family

2012/04/09 / Nic / 4 Comments

As a couple we have lots of time to work through cultural differences and the motivation to do it. What can be harder to deal with is our own families. We are the in-between, the buffer, between the different culture and our families. We have to try and explain things quickly and try to make them understand in a much shorter time than we actually had for learning new things.

So, of course our families have a much shallower understanding of the other culture. My husband does his best to fit into Australian culture while with my family and does an outstanding job of that. However, through us my family is exposed to more Korean culture which mostly ends up being positive experiences but there can be a few tensions or issues. It is difficult being the person stuck in the middle trying to explain things.

For example, it is hard to explain to people from a christian ‘excessive drinking and getting drunk is morally bad’ background that alcohol is actually an important part of Korean culture. That it is rude to refuse drinks etc. Or how do you explain a culture with a hierarchy system to those who have grown up with the ideal of everyone being equal to each other?

While in Korea my husband has to explain why I need privacy sometimes. In western society we understand the concept of just needing to get away from other people for a little bit for some alone time in order to relax and ‘recharge’ but this is not really part of Korean culture. Korean society is a more collectivist, group-oriented society where as I come from an individualist society. Even when trying my best to fit in, the lack of privacy when staying with family in rural Korea after one month can start to cause some stress within me. This was not major but in these situations it’s my husband who is the one stuck between two cultures and the one who has to do the explaining. I know how difficult that can be because other times it’s me who has to do it.

We are lucky though, both our families have been very supportive of our relationship. But my advice to those starting relationships with someone from another culture, just be aware that no matter how easy it may be to work out differences within your own relationship, actually dealing with families may pose challenges you didn’t expect.