My Korean Husband

Intercultural Life

Category: Relationships (Page 2 of 22)

Relationships with Koreans- friendships and romance

Morning News

2017/02/07 / / 0 Comments

We go through phases where sometimes I get up earlier and then other times he is getting up earlier every day. Whoever gets up first has usually checked the news first. The news has been horrifying lately but today’s news was slightly less horrifying, but still the continuation of horrifying-ness. Congratulations to Beyonce for being pregnant with Twins.

 

As an international/interracial/intercultural couple it has been very distressing to see what is happening in the US.

We were shocked when Trump won and the past week seems to be a non-stop show of horror, heartbreak and history repeating. Another element has been coming in contact with those so deeply entrenched in their own bubble of American right-wing media. I honestly didn’t think those types of people followed us but there is a small percentage of our followers that are like that. I also think a lot of people are repeating what their parents and community is saying without looking at international media or understanding how to evaluate how media is presenting information. It was very bizarre to be accused of only listening to “liberal left American media” when we don’t even live in the US (also we are neither Democrat or Republican and The Liberal party in Australia is the conservative party. ‘Liberal; doesn’t always have the same meaning around the world. You can’t put us in a box like that). We read and watch a range of media as an international couple should. We are looking at Australian news, British news, English Korean news, American news, Korean news in Korea etc and always trying to look at a range of opinions. Maybe people don’t want us to voice any political opinions, but now more than ever we feel it’s necessary.

Seeing the heartbreak so many families are now facing because of the US government it makes us reflect on how easily this can happen to us an international couple. Having a legal visa is losing meaning and makes us wonder about how easily Hugh and I could be separated in the future even when we have legal visas.

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Crowd

2016/11/08 / / 2 Comments

Crowd

“Oppa” is the Korean term that I often use for Hugh as he is an older male. It can also be used in the context of our relationship as a pet name. Unfortunately in a crowd there are many “oppas” so Hugh often assumes it’s a woman calling out to another guy, and not to him. If I call out “Oppa” to him it doesn’t really get his attention. Calling out “Hugh” also doesn’t get his attention if we are in a loud place. Lately I’ve been calling out “oi” in a very Australian accent and have found it works so much better! Especially when I stress my Australian accent as he knows it’s immediately me. The word “oi” is used quite a bit in Australian English.

Weird stuff people say to us

2016/10/22 / / 5 Comments

We try to focus on positive stuff but after being online for several years we thought we’d talk about some of the weird or mean comments we sometimes get, as well as what some people say in real life. We also wanted to give a space to other international/interracial married couples to talk about their experiences too. People usually comment more on YouTube to head over there to join the discussion.

Getting Old

2016/10/21 / / 2 Comments

Getting Old

People already love to judge the looks of interracial couples more than other couples and there can be extra scrutiny as we age. Caucasians in general seem to show the signs of aging earlier. There are plenty of jokes and memes online about the slower aging process of Asians but it is something you can start to see in your own life. Hugh still gets mistaken for someone 10 years younger than he really is, whereas I never would be. (Hugh is also older than me).

As with most comics this was a very real conversation we had in a lighthearted manner. The conversation continued with me lamenting my white genes, to which Hugh responded, “But you guys (white people) dominate everything, so don’t complain. That’s your punishment”. Hugh likes to get the white privilege jokes in haha.

I’ve been on some strong medication for health problems (Endo) which I feel is doing damage to my body and I feel like I can see it in my face. My mother looks amazing for her age so I hope I have some of those genetics to balance out what illness does to me.

For those also in interracial marriages: Do you get unnecessary comparison comments about your appearance?

Discussing Foreign Wives in Korea

2016/09/24 / / 0 Comments

In this video we talk about these types of messages that we get where women are asking us to help them find a Korean husband. People sometimes assume that it must be Kpop fangirls, but there is something much more serious going on. We talk about the arranged marriage industry in Korea and all the problems that have stemmed from it.

There are so many aspects of this topic that we can’t cover in one video, so please understand that if we miss something important it’s not that we aren’t aware of it, it’s just hard to cover everything. We are also aware of our own privilege, of Hugh being a Korean man and me being a western woman in Korea. We want to be as sympathetic and understanding as possible and realise this is a really complicated issue. If we offend, it’s completely unintended. We do also have more exposure to these types of situations than those living in cities. Even within Hugh’s own family there were foreign wives that ran away, some of our neighbors were those abusive families, but also some positive stories from our area as well. We know things are getting better, but still more needs to be done for multiculturalism in Korea and for families like this.

Intercultural Confessions Challenge

2016/08/20 / / 2 Comments

We thought up this challenge because after being married for several years I think we are comfortable confessing to some secrets or how we feel about some things in each other’s cultures. And I guess the challenge is not to descend into an argument! Haha! What food do we not like? What do we think is weird? What did we lie about?

We’d love to see some other couples do this challenge.

 

Same Age

2016/08/02 / / 6 Comments

Same Age

If you are completely unfamiliar with Korean culture and respectful terms, this comic might be a little bit difficult to understand.

The longer we’ve been back in Korean culture, the more Hugh likes being called “Oppa”. Since it was my birthday recently, my age “caught up” to his. This doesn’t happen in Korean age because everyone’s age goes up at the same time at the start of the year. But in international age there are a few months where our ages are the same. Hugh pointed this out. In Korea if someone is the same age as you it means you are friends in the sense that neither person needs to use a respectful name for the other, because neither is older than the other. It allows for much more relaxed speech and manners usually.

So I took the opportunity to act like a “chingu” instead of a “dongseng” (the younger one in the relationship). Used to be an “oppa”, Hugh suddenly realised he had made a terrible mistake…

In English I am very free and comfortable and can tease him with no problems. But in Korean, in a Korean setting he suddenly realised how different it was if he wasn’t my Oppa anymore. Especially because I used the opportunity to be rude.

Hugh says: I was saying, “You are the same as my age now! Hahaha!” And making fun, but actually it’s not good for me. I still like to be called Oppa.

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